Social Anxiety is a mental health condition that can be likened to extreme shyness. It’s an unnatural fear of social situations and can severely affect one’s ability to live a normal life. Sufferers usually develop this condition in early childhood and if left untreated, can negatively affect you for the rest of your life in terms of friendships, relationships, employment, finances, etc.
In short, it sucks the pleasure out of life while reducing your potential.
There are different levels of severity and you can’t paint everyone with the same brush. Some may have difficulty carrying a conversation with strangers, or speaking up at a work meeting, while others may be completely house-bound, afraid to interact with people at all.
I’m talking about this now because it’s something that has affected my life over the years. Though I have managed to eke out a somewhat normal existence, I regret the opportunities that passed me by because I was just too shy to participate.
I could write a book on my life’s experience with social anxiety, but I’d need to start a separate blog (not kidding). One thing I’ll do is share a bit of wisdom – things that I’ve realized a little too late in life.
And the number one lesson I’ve learned?
No one is watching you!
The solution to social anxiety could be hiding in that one sentence alone – I kid you not. Why? Because at the core of this condition is the feeling of being watched and judged.
You are not.
It took me many years to realize this critical point.
Everyone is too concerned about how they look, act and come across in public to worry about others. In fact, if someone was that preoccupied about how you look, how you walk, your movements, etc, then they’d be in the minority and they might want to look at their own problems first. It would be very odd behaviour, for sure.
Humans are selfish. It’s all about our own appearance and how we are perceived. Think about this when you’re in public. For example, sitting on a bus, are you really that concerned about the person seated across from you? Nah, at least I’m not, and I think that’s the case for most people. A social anxiety sufferer forgets this critical point and they get inside their own head a little too much.
Sure, I people watch sometimes and maybe even draw conclusions about others just on looks alone, but it’s superficial and fleeting. I don’t think about it for more than a second.
A person suffering from social anxiety looks at it much differently. They are 100% certain that people are analyzing them in great detail. Nope, this is simply not true – well, unless you are really acting crazy, but for the most part, nope, it’s just not interesting to them and not worth the effort.